life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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