I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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