so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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