brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
