Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize