your parents love me but you hate me
We're facebook friends in real life
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
