Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
