What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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