Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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