Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
