She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I am naked and annoyed.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
