We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
