so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize