we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
