I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
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All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
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I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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