is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
farters have to be the big spoon...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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