Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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