worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
