Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
