you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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