id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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