Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
