I'm jealous of your bromance
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize