Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
