whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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