he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
only you would photoshop your dick
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
