I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
