This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
