You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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