sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
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