Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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