Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
