There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
