i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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