yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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