it wasn't lemon gatorade
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
