I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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