the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
