im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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