The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have fence marks all over my body
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
