okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
