found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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