so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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