Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
In America we eat man semen.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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