When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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