In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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