All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
