i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
