So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
