24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I supernannyed him into submission
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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