so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
