remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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