dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
