you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
