It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize