after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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