That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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