i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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