Swine flu. Run for my life!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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