you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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