Me too!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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