All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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