Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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