I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
