I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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