i just google imaged poop.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
