Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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