I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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