i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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