Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
