Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
